The Pelagian Drinking Song

The Pelagian Drinking Song

Pelagius lived at Kardanoel
And taught a doctrine there
How, whether you went to heaven or to hell
It was your own affair.
It had nothing to do with the Church, my boy,
But was your own affair.

No, he didn't believe
In Adam and Eve
He put no faith therein!
His doubts began
With the Fall of Man
And he laughed at Original Sin.
With my row-ti-tow
Ti-oodly-ow
He laughed at original sin.

Then came the bishop of old Auxerre
Germanus was his name
He tore great handfuls out of his hair
And he called Pelagius shame.
And with his stout Episcopal staff
So thoroughly whacked and banged
The heretics all, both short and tall --
They rather had been hanged.

Oh he whacked them hard, and he banged them long
Upon each and all occasions
Till they bellowed in chorus, loud and strong
Their orthodox persuasions.
With my row-ti-tow
Ti-oodly-ow
Their orthodox persuasions.

Now the faith is old and the Devil bold
Exceedingly bold indeed.
And the masses of doubt that are floating about
Would smother a mortal creed.
But we that sit in a sturdy youth
And still can drink strong ale
Let us put it away to infallible truth
That always shall prevail.

And thank the Lord
For the temporal sword
And howling heretics too.
And all good things
Our Christendom brings
But especially barley brew!
With my row-ti-tow
Ti-oodly-ow
Especially barley brew!

Intelligence: How Much You Know or Who You Know?

For those of you who have been introduced to my son, Xavier, you know how sponge-like and capable his intellect is. He very much reminds me of myself at his age: reading and watching anything, learning from it, memorizing details, encyclopedic like in knowledge. This growing intellect led us to believe that he may very well be advanced for his age. So my wife and I pushed for him to be included in the local school board's gifted student program. After much hoop jumping through and a lot of poor communication from the school, he was “tested” and found not to meet the requirements for this program.

We were disappointed. We know he is smart and gifted and were now concerned that his ever growing boredom in school was going to cause behavior issues. Should we find another school? Should we homeschool?

As I suffered through that disappointment, I thought of how important being recognized for your intelligence was. It is almost certainly at the heart of my pride problems. I spent years thinking and being told about how smart I was and how my good grades and intelligence would make me a well respected and rich man. Oh, how I was disappointed! Intelligence is no measure of a man. My measure of “manhood” is found in how well and how closely I identify with the transforming nature and person of Christ. I pray and hope that I can now teach my son the importance of this knowledge and not all knowledge is what truly makes the difference. I love you son! May you learn to grow and love His Son!

Killer Marriage Tips

               About two months ago, I went to see the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. While I was waiting for the movie to start, there was a gentleman in front of me there with his wife and his grade school aged son. The wife went to go use the restroom and as soon as she did, the man (who had not looked up from his phone once) immediately went to match.com (a dating website) and was browsing through pictures of women. I almost threw up at the thought of him ignoring his child and cheating on his wife while waiting to watch this movie.
              My killer marriage tip for this guy: Be a man! Love your wife! Pay attention to your children! You are going to regret every single moment of what you are doing now and you won't be able to change it.
              These guys have some other killer marriage tips that you may be doing but probably should think about it twice.

The "Unmentionable" Sin

Gluttony.

I love food. I said it. I love it a lot. My physique currently shows that.

If there is one thing that I have been convicted of in the last few months more than any other, it is that food is my comfort idol.

When I get upset, sad, depressed, anxious, joyful, or any other (insert your) emotion, I run to food to help.

NO MORE!

I have too often run to my false Savior of Ice Cream, or Cheese Fries, or McDonalds instead of the One I know who does provide comfort and joy. I will now from this day forth, with the power of the Spirit, work to remove this idol from my life.

Will you help me?